Who is writing all the dating rule books about green lights and red flags and faux pas?
Fact: Most dating, mating, flirting, and loving rulebooks are written by women. At last a guy, Mr. Anon, has taken the time to create “The List of Rules From the Manly Man Point of View.” The original manuscript, written in pencil on a piece of binder paper had few real scholarly pretensions. Through time, various readers felt compelled to enhance and embellish the edicts. Now we know: what men are really thinking.
The Top Ten Compendium of Manly Man Dictates:
1. ESPN not ESP: Men are not mind readers. We are rugged, brawny, handsome and handy – we just don’t have the ESP gene – spell it out, sweetheart.
2. Sunday Sports are of the highest importance. They’re like the full moon, the stars and the sky – our True North. It’s not the day to drag us to mall and make us hold your suitcase-sized purse as you try on 15 pair of identical black slacks. We crave Sunday Sports – be a sport – and just hand us the remote control.
3. Don’t Mall Me: Shopping is not a sport. No amount of cajoling, kidding, or kissing is going to make us think of it that way.
4. Ask for what you want:. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work. Strong, loud, hints don’t work. Call us primitive– it is obvious your soft, whimsical and cute little hints are not effective. Do us both a favor, and clearly state what you want.
5. Final Answer: ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. We are succinct. Especially during TV commercials.
6. Talk to the Girls: Come to us with a problem only if you really want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy, gossip, chatting – are what your wonderful girlfriends are for, right?
7. Memories: Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and Void after seven days.
8. Weighty Issues: If you think you’re fat, you might be – or you are looking for a compliment… and reassurance…first check a mirror, and then come to us…and, never on a Sunday.
9. Lost in Translation: If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we really meant the other one. Honest.
10. Commercial Value: Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the TV commercials.
And, for the record: Following our Bliss~ Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions and pride prevents us from breaking the mold. Work with us—that’s why God invented maps and GPS.
San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com. Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column — click the Subscribe button at the top of the page.
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