You guessed it! It was another wacky, weird, and wonderful week in Louisville. We therefore present our readers with some excellent examples of weirdness, to demonstrate why the slogan “Keep Louisville Weird” is just right for our little town on banks of the Ohio. The following little news items were reported in the media over the past few days:
Obama’s speech not worth much, but at least there’s no criminal intent. The following note was taken, verbatim, from WAVE-3’s web page on Monday: NBC makes Monday night programming change. Tonight at 9 p.m., NBC will have live coverage of President Obama’s address. Following the conclusion of the presidential address, NBC will show an episode of “IT’S WORTH WHAT?” instead of the scheduled program, “LAW & ORDER: CRIMINAL INTENT.”
Let’s make a deal. On Tuesday, Metro Police got a call from a man who complained that his cell phone had just been stolen. Interestingly, the thief was allegedly trying to sell it back to the victim for $100. An undercover officer, posing as the victim’s son, showed up at the home of Sean Booker, 26, to pick up the phone. The officer reports that Booker threw the phone and tried to run away. He is now charged with receiving stolen property and fleeing and evading.
Jonesin’ for Papa John’s. Jason Age, 26, evidently had a powerful hankering for delicious Papa John’s pizza. According to police, Jason charged more than $500 worth of Papa John’s pizza on a stolen credit card. Mr. Age told detectives he used the credit card to purchase pizza online from Papa John’s on 34 different occasions, and on Wednesday they charged him with theft and fraudulent use of a credit card.
We checked, and apparently Papa John’s does not deliver to inmates at the Metro Corrections facility.
Closing in on 100. David Eugene Clark stopped by the Hall of Justice at 2:30 p.m. on Wednesday, to check on the status of his court case. His latest case—one of 92 arrests listed on the court’s computer—involved a charge of being drunk in a public place. According to Sheriff’s deputies, Mr. Clark was stumbling about, was unsteady on his feet, had bloodshot eyes, and “smelled of alcoholic beverages.” While Clark was being questioned, he became angry with deputies and was arrested. When asked how much alcohol he had consumed, Clark would only tell police he “had drank too much.”
Mr. Clark now has charge No. 93 on his record.
You can go home again. But you probably shouldn’t. LMPD officers were called to a house in the 1900 block of Westmoorland Way on Wednesday, on a complaint from the owner that a tenant he had evicted left some suspicious articles behind. The homeowner met the cops at the door and gave them permission to search. The search turned up 15 marijuana plants, grow lights, fertilizers, and drug paraphernalia.
While the police were conducting the search, the former tenant—26-year-old Travis D. Hulak—stopped by in his pickup truck to retrieve his belongings. Police say he admitted to growing hydroponic marijuana plants after he was arrested and read his rights.
Hulak was charged with cultivating five or more marijuana plants, driving with a suspended license and possession of drug paraphernalia. In crime and comedy, timing is everything.
At the bottom of the sea. Thursday night, LMPD officers arrested 23-year-old Tori Elkins for getting into a beef with her boyfriend over—wait for it—“SpongeBob Squarepants.” Seems that, around 9 p.m., Tori and her boyfriend decided to split up, but got into an argument over the cable television box. He wanted to take it with him, and she wanted him to leave it. According to the cops, Tori told them she was upset by this because her children would be, “deprived television and the ability to watch ‘SpongeBob.'”
According to the arrest report, Tori allegedly stomped on the cable box, damaging it, and then grabbed her boyfriend “…by the neck with her right hand and open-hand smacked him with her left hand.” The police arrested her, charging her with Misdemeanor Assault, 4th Degree.
The Metro Corrections facility does, in fact, have cable television; but it is questionable whether Tori will be able to convince her fellow inmates to watch “SpongeBob Squarepants” with her.
“I should be arrested.” Just before 12:30 a.m. Friday morning, the police spotted a woman driving her 2010 Nissan Pathfinder northbound in the southbound lane of Hurstbourne Parkway, near Brownsboro Road. According to the cops, Elizabeth S. Rhodes, 57, admitted she had been drinking wine and told an officer she finished the last of four drinks about a half-hour before she was stopped.
Elizabeth was charged with DUI and reckless driving, and police report that she was unsteady on her feet when she got out of the car; stating that she “knew she was drunk,” and suggesting, “I should be arrested for driving on the wrong side of the street.”
The cops followed Elizabeth’s suggestion.