*Spoiler Alert* This is a recap and thus provides details of the 7/10/11 episode of True Blood
“If Eric Northman was yummy before, this newly subdued version is even sexier,” said Riverside resident Dawn Jensen, who holds a True Blood viewing party at her home with girlfriends every week. Indeed, starting out any episode with a shirtless Eric is bound to get things off to a good start.
But for Sookie, tonight’s episode brought one disaster after another. Between taking care of a spellbound Eric, finding out Alcide the werewolf has turned Mr. Suburbs and a final visit – a very final visit – from her fairy godmother, our poor Ms. Stackhouse may just be considering taking a page out of Tara’s book and getting the hell out of Bon Temps.
After finding a dazed and shirtless Eric wandering the roads, Sookie, at first not trusting that Eric really had any sort of memory lapse, realizes that he is, indeed, in a bad way and takes him home. Eric’s antics for the rest of the episode kept viewers in stitches as he made child-like apologies for everything from getting dirt on Sookie’s rug to “fang raping” her in the past. Sookie calls on Pam to insist she take over babysitting duties; however, Pam tells Sookie that she must be the one to hide Eric as he is now vulnerable to Bill. She believes the new king set Eric up by sending him to the witch coven in the first place, and Fangtasia will be the first place they look for him.
Believing that his involvement in the events that led to Eric’s speedy demise from the witch coven last week, Lafayette decides he’s going to Fangtasia to throw himself on Eric’s mercy before he bites it (pun intended.) Not realizing Eric is now a ball of pasty Silly Putty, Jesus and Tara try to make him understand just what a bad plan that really is.
After a visit with Bill, her maker and thus fang father, Jessica decides she needs to tell Hoyt the truth about her bloodsucking tryst in the ladies’ room with another man; however, Hoyt is so hurt and upset that Jessica glamours him so he’ll forget it all, promising only to drain the O-neg out of Hoyt from here on out. Needless to say, it’s doubtful we’ve seen the last of Jessica’s wandering fangs.
Tommy continues to play “Hoyt clone” for Maxine Fortenberry, and in doing so, discovers that her house is sitting on a wealth of natural gas when a gas company representative pays a visit. While a clueless Maxine is busy ordering a creepy Marie Osmond Halloween doll from home shopping (although aren’t ALL Marie Osmond dolls creepy enough for Halloween?), Tommy discusses terms. Unbeknownst to Maxine, Tommy, ever the scumbag, decides to approach brother Sam about purchasing the house out from under his surrogate mother and splitting the profits. Sam, naturally, refuses any part in the plan and says if Tommy doesn’t tell Maxine the truth, he will, infuriating Tommy.
Porsche makes a well-thought-out and very professional offer to Bill that they take their business relationship to the next level by having sex. Arranged marriages between strangers are more romantic, but Bill, of course, accepts with one caveat; he can never love her. She agrees that their meetings between the sheets need not involve more than a post-coital cigarette, and the romp is on.
Back in Hotshot, poor Jason is still tied up and mangled head to toe after his encounter with the white trash werepanthers last week. While he is convinced he’s dying from infection, a deluded and vamped-up Crystal assures him he is being reborn as the werepanther that will repopulate their dying species. After giving him a hit of Mexican Viagra – “not that you need it,” says Crystal – she and a group of ladies that looks like a casting call for Hee-Haw line up to give poor Jason a go, hoping to become pregnant with his “cubs.”
In an attempt to find another place for Eric to lay low, Sookie visits Alcide, who made his first, and hopefully not final, appearance this season. Clearly happy to see each other and transmitting more than a bit of heat as they spoke, Alcide told Sookie that he moved to Shreveport after the, “you know” mess in Mississippi last year. He confesses he’s building homes in the very neighborhood he’s living in, and just as Sookie starts to explain that she needs a place for Eric to “cubby” in besides her house, in walks Debbie, looking like a trashed-out soccer mom.
As you may recall from last season, Debbie was Alcide’s ex-girlfriend who was high as a kite on V (vampire blood) and attempted to kill Sookie. Now, however, she is back with Alcide, clean and sober for a year and eager to make amends. While she plays along with Debbie’s pleas for forgiveness, Sookie decides it’s getting a bit too weird with Mr. Werewolf and his burbed-out girlfriend, especially after she’s offered vienna sausages and squash pickles. Alcide looks more than a bit disappointed at Sookie’s hasty retreat.
Although Jesus thinks he’s convinced Lafayette not to approach Eric, he and Tara realize he’s gone to Fangtasia to do just that. Tara has shed nary a tear this season, and it’s great to see her “man up,” so to speak and do what has to be done. In this case, it’s bringing a pistol full of wooden bullets to save Lafayette from Pam, who is about to rip his throat out. Tara and Jesus promise Pam that they will bring her the witch that is responsible for the spell on Eric. She gives them 24 hours.
Whether or not they will be able to get Marnie to Pam is another story entirely. We observe the bad witch of the south attempting to call a spirit to possess her, “fill her up” (eww) and allow her to be its’ servant. As she timidly slices her arm over and over, draining the blood into a cup, we see the reflection of a not-so-friendly-looking woman in the mirror. Marnie may turn out to be less pliable than hoped when the three musketeers arrive to drag her to Pam.
Sookie returns home to find that Eric is out and about on his own, which nothing good can come of. A bright light signals a visit from her ex-fairy friend, who begs her to return to fairyland. Given her last visit, as expected, Sookie says thanks but no thanks. Scary fairy doesn’t seem to want to take no for an answer, and as it’s about to get dicey, Eric swoops in and sucks Tinkerhell dry.
Sookie: “You just killed my fairy godmother!”
Eric in full-on puppy-dog eyes: “Oh…sorry.”
As always, the previews look even more tantalizing, and I think I’m going to have to join Dawn at her house every Sunday for her viewing party. Let’s face it, a True Blood martini and the sexy vampires, werewolves and assorted other supernatural beings of Bon Temps should certainly be shared with good human friends.
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