I took my nephews to see the smurfs. They were excited. I have no idea why. I, on the other hand, was less so. I don’t think this movie should have happened. Live action cartoon smurfs? Really? And what is NPH doing in this thing? How is this going to work? My nephews were excited so I went in with the best of mind sets. I will have to say that…
Did you smurf it?
Did I what? And what are you doing back third-party italicized ghost voice? I thought you only dealt with sequels.
Nevermind that. The question was did you smurf it?
Not sure what you’re trying to say.
Listen, if you get the chance to smurf something you really have to smurf it. I mean really smurf it good. I’ve smurfed a lot. I know.
I don’t think that’s appro…
Stop, smurf, and listen. If you smurfed it don’t be embarrassed. There’s nothing wrong with smurfing something like this. Just make sure that your smurf is smurfed before you do.
Okay, stop. Just stop. That’s really annoying. I’m assuming that you’re asking me if I liked this movie. At least that’s what I’m going with. Just let me get on with this review and you’ll know.
Ugh. Where was I?
The movie starts with the smurfs living happily in their smurf village. Everything is dandy until Clumsy smurf (that’s his name) accidentally leads Gargamel to the hidden village. See its hidden by an illusion. The problem is that all you have to do is walk through it and there you are. The village is so simple to find that I’m amazed Gargamel has never figured it out. Even if he just walks through the forest once in a while he’s bound to wander into it. Sorry, I’m getting off track. So Gargamel finds the village. The smurfs all scatter and Papa, Smurfette, Brainy, Grumpy, Clumsy, and Gutsy(? The scottish one made up for the movie) find a portal to New York City. The smurfs are followed through the portal by Gargamel. After they arrive the portal closes.
The smurfs eventually find themselves in the home of Neal Patrick Harris and Jayma Mays. The rest of the movie consists of the smurfs singing and trying to create a portal to get back home. NPH and Mays help the little guys while they are getting chased around by Gargamel. At one point Papa smurf is captured by Gargamel. There is no reason for this. He could have easily escaped. The writers and producers felt there needed to be a Gargamel vs smurf showdown and they shoehorned this scene in. So now the scene exists. The showdown ensues and, with the help of NPH and Mays, the smurfs win. They all go home. NPH gets a promotion. That’s it.
Man, that was a quick plot assessment. Even for you.
Yeah, plots aren’t my forte. Why waste time. Everyone knows the plot and in this day and age they can easily look it up. Plus the plot of this movie is pretty clunky. The Papa smurf getting caught scene really bugged me. He wasn’t trapped at all. They could have done better there. It felt like a cop out.
The rest of the movie was just okay. The jokes were definitely tempered for children. Not much exists in this movie for adults. It’s a kids movie all the way. Also, I found Gargamel deeply irritating.
Hmmm…Do go on.
Thank you I will. Hank Azaria plays Gargamel. He does an okay job, I guess. Now that I think of it there is no good way to play this character in a live action setting. Gargamel will be annoying no matter what. Here is proof: When I asked my nephews what they thought of the movie they both answered that they thought Gargamel (his voice in particular) was annoying. You will also think this. Just giving you fair warning.
This movie was close to intolerable for adults such as I. I was however able to sit through it and I chuckled twice.
No you chuckled once, I was there.
Were you? Are you stalking me? Did this just get weird?
Nevermind that. You chuckled once. Once at the movie and once at your eldest nephew because he put the empty popcorn box on his head.
Oh, yeah. That was kind of funny…..Stop, getting me all sidetracked. I was about to give my final judgement.
Do it then.
To reiterate. The smurfs movie is for children 100%. Adults will not find much in this. This is a torturous kids movie. Don’t expect much. Your kids will like it though.
Is it time for the ratings?
I think so. Unless you’ve got anything else.
Nothing, I’ve smurfed what I wanted to smurf. To the Ratings!
Gah! Fine. To the ratings.
Expanded Specific Ratings System:
Kids 5-12: 3 stars
Kids 13 and older: 2 stars
Adults with kids that usually have to sit through really terrible crap: 2 stars
Adults without kids: 1 star
My nephews: smurftastic (yes, this is an actual quote from them)
Smurfing the smurf: Wah (?) umm threeish stars maybe.