The topic of this article was recommended by a reader who had found himself engaged in this conversation/debate many a time: what’s the deal with women? While this question is certainly too broad and complex to cover in one article or one year’s worth of articles, we’ll tackle the more specific motivation for this question. In this case, he was asking why do women want what they can’t have?
What is the appeal of a taken man? Its an inexplicable phenomenon. While a man is single, he’s usually the one doing the chasing and experiencing the lion’s share of rejection. But when he suddenly gets snatched off the market, an axe commercial-like mob attack occurs and single females pounce on him like a lioness on a baby zebra. Ok, that may not be the most accurate explanation but it sure seems that way.
For example ladies, think of that guy that has been after you for months, or maybe even years. You never took him seriously, and then one day he stopped pursuing you because he finally got a girlfriend of his own. Now you’re missing those phone calls he made once a week trying (unsuccessfully) to get a date with you. Suddenly all of his annoying habits become tolerable and his kinda cute smirk becomes a Denzel caliber smile. Fellas, does it seem like whenever you and your girl hit the mall women can’t take their eyes off of you? Does the waitress at your favorite restaurant seem more attentive to your needs than usual?
It’s an interesting mix of not knowing what you’ve got ‘till it’s gone and classic in demand theory. A lot of women have ‘that guy’ in their lives, the one who really wants to be with them, who would jump at the chance to see her for even five minutes, and who she believes will always carry a torch for her. Essentially, its an ego boost. He’s a back up, a way for her to tell herself that even though she’s single, somebody wants her. And when he finally moves on, it’s selfish to want him back. Even the back up guy deserves somebody who wants to be with him. And women should ask themselves if they would be as eager to date him seriously if he was to become single again. Probably not.
Guys need to understand the power of psychology. It’s the reason that clothing stores encourage employees to wear items from their stores and companies want celebs to be photographed drinking their water or pushing their baby stroller. Seeing another person with something has the power of suddenly making that thing desirable. While we won’t go into the psychology behind that, suffice it to say that when women see a taken man he instantly becomes good enough for them. A woman may see you shopping for a Valentine’s Day present for your girlfriend and wish they had someone who would do that for them. They figure he’s willing to commit, and he must have other desirable qualities if another woman wants him. The fact that you treat your girlfriend like a princess and obviously adore her will not be missed on other women who are looking for the same things, so it’s only natural that they’ll cast a longing glance your way when they spot you and your girl walking hand-in-hand on the beach, being unbearably romantic.
The final way being taken can make a man more desirable to women is when a man actually changes for the better because of his relationship. Let’s face it- relationships can change a person in good (or bad) ways. Maybe your girlfriend encouraged you to try sushi and now you actually enjoy the theater. Maybe you learned that a girlfriend could be a person to tell things you can’t tell your boys. Or maybe she cheated, and you realized how much infidelity can devastate a person. A man can become more desirable to the next woman by becoming a better partner because of the lessons he learned from his ex‘s.
So ladies, the next time you spot a girl full on eyeing your guy, don’t get angry, just congratulate yourself on making a good choice and remind yourself of all the reasons why he’s a great boyfriend. And fellas, learn from the relationships you’re in now and enjoy being arm candy for a little while! Those envious females can only be a problem in your relationship if you allow them to be!