For almost two years, I have been providing the city of Denver with the information it needs to stay safe from zombies and keep up on all the latest zombie happenings. In that time, I’ve received many great questions from my readers.
Denver zombiephiles, it is time you heard the answers to your questions. Below is a sampling of the most common questions I get as the Denver Zombie Examiner. Read on, dear zombiephiles, and be enlightened:
Q: Why are you so interested in zombies?
A: When I was eleven, Buffy the Vampire Slayer happened and it changed my life. The show was campy and weird, but it was also funny, poignant, intelligent, and very punk rock. I definitely wanted to be like Buffy, a girl who constantly kicked monster ass and made witty puns in the face of danger. Buffy fought just about every monster there was, except for zombies. And just as I was thinking vampires and demons were just about the best things worth slaying, I realized that I was terrified of zombies. I mean, if Buffy never fought them, they must have been just awful. I made the mistake of watching 28 Days Later, which only made things worse. I couldn’t sleep if zombies even came up in conversation. I had an irrational fear of zombies (though it’s really not that irrational, if you think about it).
Then one day I had to face my fear. I had a college professor who literally taught a unit on zombies (I went to Emerson. Nuff said). I decided to get over my fear of zombies before I had to watch movie clips of them with my classmates. So I watched all of George Romero’s movies. I watched every zombie movie I could get my hands on from The Serpent and the Rainbow to the remake of Dawn of the Dead. And I read World War Z. That was really the moment when everything shifted. Suddenly, my fear became fascination. I was getting to know my enemy, and the more I learned the less afraid of zombies I became. Today I’m obsessed with zombies, and I love anything to do with them. In conclusion, I am tougher than Buffy.
Q: Why do you go on about all the different ways to kill zombies? A bullet to the brain works. What more do we need to know?
A: Do you own a gun? Do you know how to use it? How many rounds do you have on hand? Enough to kill dozens (if not hundreds) of zombies? How’s your accuracy? Can you hit a head-sized moving target with 100% accuracy 100% of the time? I thought not. Most people don’t have access to firearms, or don’t know how to use them, and even expert marksmen run out of ammunition eventually. This is why the crow bar is our friend. More importantly, learning to use other zombie slaying devices is about being ready under any circumstances. The dead could rise at any time, no matter where you are, and I don’t know about you but I don’t carry a rifle with me to the grocery store (If you do, you win the Zombie Preparedness Award). You need to be prepared to destroy a zombie using a variety of methods, because you never know which one will be at your disposal at any given time.
Q: What zombie slaying device do you use?
A: Depends on the situation. I’ve grown rather fond of the crossbow Daryl (Norman Reedus) uses in AMC’s The Walking Dead. I’ve got to get me one of those! If I’m at home, I use my boyfriend’s mountaineering ice axe, which we keep mounted on the wall. It’s a light, mid-range melee weapon with three sharpened points. My father, a retired Army Ranger, gave us the asp he carried. It’s a telescoping metal baton that extends to about three feet long, and it’s considered deadly force when used against a human being. I keep it in the car when my boyfriend isn’t carrying it.
Q: What’s the best place to see zombies in Denver?
A: Bender’s Tavern on 13th and Grant. They host the annual March of the Zombies Fashion Show, and they hosted this year’s Zombielesque Halloween burlesque show. Also, zombie band The Widow’s Bane plays there on a regular basis.
Q: What is your favorite zombie book?
A: World War Z, by Max Brooks. I know it’s a popular choice, but it really is that good. My second favorite would have to be The Zombie Combat Manual by Roger Ma, closely followed by Carrie Ryan’s The Forest of Hands and Teeth (because I’m a girl). Right now I’m reading Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion.
Q: Speaking of you being a girl, why aren’t more girls into zombies?
A: Good question. In the nerd world, I’m a pretty hot commodity: A cute, socially fluent girl who is also deeply nerdy (two of those three are debatable). I can’t tell you how many times I’ve showed up for a zombie event and found myself in a sausage fest. I’ve talked to other girl zombie fans about this, and none of us understand why our gender just doesn’t seem to be interested in zombies, or any monster not a sparkly or Southern vampire.
Read The Denver Zombie Examiner’s FAQ, part 2.
Stay informed, stay alive: Stay tuned for Part 2 of the Denver Zombie Examiner’s FAQ, and in the meantime, check out the slide show for a glimpse at the 2009 and 2010 Denver Zombie Crawls.
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