Looking for love? Of course you are. Hoping to find it in any one of thirty eligibles willing to compete for your affections at the same time? Well then the Bachelorette Guide to Dating is your ticket to a fulfilling, fairytale, season-long romance.
Finding that Someone Special
Well, this part is easy. If the hit ABC reality shows teach us anything it’s that finding the love of your life is as simple as filling out a questionnaire. Look through photos of several members of the opposite sex, then decide who you want to spend your life with based upon nothing more than their appearance. Select a significant number of prospects. Dating strangers who you know nothing about seems like a short, certain route to success, but sometimes men who look really, really handsome still turn out to be wholly un-datable.
If you must, spend some time with your prospective mate. A connection should happen quickly; likely three or four times in a one hour episode. It is possible you will not experience the same magic you felt when pawing through photos once you see your bachelor in person. If you do not feel a connection riding tandem on a horse, or while making out on a beach, then it’s time to move on.
Love at First Sight
Do not despair if you do not experience love at first sight. When facing a dais, or crowded bar, of smiling bachelors of the same race, your emotions may run wild. Do not expect to find love in an instant. It can take hours, even days, for a complete stranger to capture your heart. To commit to loving one single man may take an entire season.
If you find love before ratings week, you are allowed, even encouraged, to change your mind.
Everyone has a certain something they are looking for. But, honestly, who has the time. Charm, kindness, sincerity, humility, a good heart: these things can take years to determine. The man for you is one who will look good next to you on a Christmas card, or, more importantly, your facebook profile picture.
Eliminate everyone shorter than you. I mean, come on, did we even have to say it? Then get rid of that guy whose chin is just a little too round. Yes, even if you had a really good four-minute talk and snuggle with him in the loveseat.
The pale guy. Out.
The skinny guy. Out.
Balding. Way out. How did he get this far?
The guy without perfect teeth. Out.
Thin out the herd that you may better concentrate on the chiseled super model and the brooding guy with excellent hair.
Love is out there; it is a mere Rose Ceremony away. Just don’t wait for it to meet you randomly at work or a friend’s party. And don’t expect it to grow between you and that man you’ve known for years and are just now getting to know intimately. Love is waiting for you in the eyes of a stranger; most probably in his profile photo on Match.com.