When break-ups happen, it can be devastating for both the one to break it off and the one being broken up with. Although losing someone that was once special is never easy, there are ways to deal with the loss and move forward to a brighter future. Here are just a few.
Mourn the loss-it is completely healthy and very necessary to grieve the loss of a significant relationship. Allow space to cry and be angry about what has happened since these are all feelings that will naturally come up. Giving space to mourn will help to expedite the healing process. Without proper grieving, old feelings can resurface in the future and create baggage that will make it difficult to move forward with someone new when it’s time.
Create a support system-often times in serious relationships, the significant other becomes the strongest source of friendship and support. It’s natural to share everything with that person and spend so much time with them that other friendships become neglected. Re-building that support after that other person has gone, whether with close friends or family can be a helpful way to maintain a sense of kinship as well as to increase the likelihood of maintaining a realistic perspective about the loss of the relationship.
Keep busy-whether finding a new hobby or doing things that have always been enjoyable, staying busy is an easy way to distract from the hurt and the trauma of a loss. Keeping busy is also a great way to avoid the tendency to want to withdrawal which ultimately will only enhance the feelings of sadness. Finding good distractions will be helpful in the rebuilding process and may be a way to incorporate something new in the place of the lost love. Find some fun things to do here.
Lastly, find a way to say good-bye as amicably as possible, especially when children are involved. An amicable break-up will help to maintain the relationship necessary to co-parent effectively. But also, lend to less feelings of resentment or desires for revenge, which can fester and cause difficulties in moving forward and stifle the healing of these wounds.
When love is lost, it is undoubtedly difficult. Make peace in knowing that all things happen for a reason, even if the reason is unknown in the moment. Accepting the reality of the separation and finding ways to heal from it rather than dwelling in what could have or should have been will open up the possibilities to a brighter future in ways that may have been unimaginable before.