Ladies, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it’s about that time. I know you’ve been praying since February that September wouldn’t come around again. Even as we were faced with a lockout during the offseason, I know you remained hopeful that it would carry on and on and on, just as the NBA’s lockout is threatening to do. But no such luck, ladies. Summer is ending and that means one thing to men like me: Football season is coming back!
Every man reading this piece just shouted “Hallelujah!” at the thought of it.
The preseason is winding down and the 2011 season opener on Thursday, September 8this just around the corner. However, I’ve always viewed the NFL’s new season opening games on Thursday night as just a teaser. The season doesn’t begin for me until that first Sunday of the season, when there are multiple games to flip through as I go into a football induced coma. Just the thought gives me the chills. And with college football starting the week before on September 1st, well, what can I say ladies? There are dark days ahead.
What’s worse for women in Detroit is the fact that the excitement over the Detroit Lions isn’t just based on the idea that it’s the beginning of the season, football is back and everyone has some sort of reason to feel that their team will be successful this year. No, not this year for the local team. There’s actually real optimism this time. The Lions are not only poised for a playoff run this year, if everyone stays healthy, they may actually win a game if they get in. Scary, ladies. Very, very scary.
While women have always loathed the start of football season, there are a few things to consider. First, football is this country’s most popular sport. That means it isn’t just a man thing. Some of you love it just as we do. You just don’t lose touch with reality as we do when the game is on. In days past, this has always put a strain on relationships. The idea that her man actually can pay attention to detail, as football is a very complicated game if you break it down, has often disturbed women. Especially when we fail to display that ability when she’s explaining whatever it is she’s explaining to us (I forget what that might be; I’m watching highlights as I write this).
Something that works in a man’s favor these days is the explosion of what I call “garbage TV”. Shows like Basketball Wives, The Real Housewives of (pick your city) and whatever the Kardashians are doing these days can keep a wife busy working the DVR for hours while we overdose on football. So the days of us trying to keep them entertained during the game have gone away to a degree.
In order for all of us to get through this in one piece while continuing to love one another, there are things we both must do. First, women must acknowledge that this is the man you chose to date or marry. To expect something to change is not only unfair, it’s unrealistic. Second, you simply make the best of your summers together (hey, my wife took advantage by planning a wedding and a second reception in LA). Finally, just mark September on your calendar as the time of the year when you and your girlfriends can go and do lots and lots and lots of things together, with little to no resistance from your man. We’ll get over it by 3rd down and 7.
For men, we just need to remember to come up for air. Detroit is a big sports town, and probably at it’s biggest during football season. We have the Lions, but we’re also big on our college football. We have the Michigan Wolverines and the Michigan State Spartans. We even get into Central, Eastern and Western Michigan. It’s easy for the little woman to get lost. So when we have a moment during the week, we need to spend quality time with our women. Yes, I understand that there’s football on practically everyday of the week now, but let’s be real. We don’t need to watch every game, and if we do, there’s DVR.
As we park ourselves on the couch for hours and hours and hours of football, we also need to carve out a few of those halftimes for the lovely women that fill us with sandwiches and beverages as we yell at the TV repeatedly, as though the people on the screen can hear us. Oh, and when you do finally make your way to bed, don’t just crash. Sometimes, just a few minutes of cuddle time (not necessarily sex, people) can make up for the hours you spent neglecting her to watch other men on TV.