Since when is it a disgrace to grow old gracefully? Albeit, women have been lying about their age for ages! Now, men are getting in on the act. I recently received a email of interest from a very tall, (6’4″) and rather attractive man with a profile on the Honolulu page of a credible, “free” dating website. He has sort of a Chris Noth look, “Mr. Big” from “Sex and the City”, so not too shabby. He is divorced with three daughters. I like children, but on a case by case basis, so I wasn’t too thrilled with the notion of three. Although meeting his children is the furthest thing from my mind, his girls were awfully cute based on the pictures of them he had published on his Honolulu dating profile along with a caption giving each girl’s name. Even his daughters names were unique and pretty!
He’s employed as a General Manager in the local Hospitality industry. General Manager is a fairly high paying job in the Honolulu job market. The Hospitality industry in Honolulu has the most job openings of any industry, it is constantly growing. Everyone wants a piece of the tourist action. The downside to this sort of career choice is having to work nights and weekends. Once again, not too thrilled with the weekend work hours. I wasn’t projecting anything in the future with this guy, I was actually struggling with why I would want to proceed with him in the present! He grew up in the Hawaii Kai area, where I live. He offered to drive here and have a light supper and cocktails. We were set for 8:00 pm on a Thursday night. Thursday night is as close as he gets to a weekend date.
On his dating profile he listed his age as 35. The second I read his profile, I didn’t believe for a moment that he was 35. Based on his career progression and status and the fact that he has been married and divorced with three children at age 35? I don’t think so. My instinct led me to believe that he was not completely forthcoming with his true age and that he is older. I proved it! There’s Google search and then there’s public records websites. I simply typed in his name and selected the state of Hawaii on a public records website and a profile appeared, with limited details. It shows his name, age, a list of relatives connected to him and that’s it. I knew for sure that it was in fact him, as one of his daughter’s names appeared as a connection. The same one he had listed on his dating profile with her picture and name. BUSTED! Gosh, I hate it when I’m right. Incidentally, his real age is 45, so he scraped off 10 years. So what’s wrong with being age 45? Based on his photos he could easily pass for age 35. Unfortunately, his life experience gave him away, that is, to a brighter than average gal. The moral of the story is be truthful, as not to embarrass yourself by getting caught in a silly lie.
Besides, if someone will lie about something so minor; what else will he or she lie about? So let’s re-cap this, shall we? This guy has a failed marriage under his belt, three children to support financially and attend to, a job that keeps him busy nights and weekends, so limited activity planning options and he’s starting out by lying about his age! So how did our date turn out? It didn’t! Trite and true to form for a divorced parent, he needed to see me at 9:00 or 9:30 pm instead of the original 8:00 pm time that we agreed to. Something minor came up related to one of his daughters. The story was plausible and I believe truthful. But kid drama already? On the first date? Really? Um… no! The change of plans gave me the option to opt-out and leave it at that. Besides, there’s only two reasons for a “man” to lie about his age and it’s not good.
1. He’s insecure
2. He’s trying to score with much younger women by being deceitful!
If a man wants to date a 25 year old woman and he’s age 45; depending on the woman, she may perceive him as more of a “Dad” type, than a love interest. By listing his age as 35, there is still a sizable age gap of 10 years, but it may be more palatable than a 20 year age gap. On the flip-side, women lie about their age to escape being labeled and overlooked online. While older men are busy chasing after younger women, there are slightly older and sultry women available. The good news is, these slightly older attractive women can date younger men and feel totally comfortable and confident about it. Cougars 1, Age Oppression 0!
Lying about your age is not cool. Put yourself in the other person’s position. Imagine if you are a guy and you’re seeing a woman and things progress to an intimate relationship. And then you find out that she’s 15 years older than you and lied about it! Would you feel like it really doesn’t matter now that you know her or would you feel totally misled, betrayed and angry? I find that a lot of people look younger than their actual age. Just be happy with the fact that you look great and feel great. Hey, if you have it, flaunt it!