These teams are about as different as can be. Toxic 253 is a brand new league in Tacoma where there already is an established WFTDA league. The Bella Donnas are the Oly Rollers’ fresh meat team, which-when they’re trained by the world’s best skaters-pretty much puts them at around the level of an established WFTDA league. So, though both teams featured skaters who were relatively new to derby, the Bella Donnas clearly exhibited the benefits of their superior training.
Toxic 253 arrived at Oly’s Skateland for their abbreviated, two 20-minute-halves bout just a few minutes before the fans were let in. They brought only eleven skaters. And, from the first whistle, it was plain to see that Toxic’s main objective was to live through the night. There was little in the way of walls, no hitting, no protection of the inside line. Oly’s jammers basically had their way with Toxic in the first half. After getting lead jammer all twelve jams, Oly went to the locker room with a comfortable 126-15 lead.
The second half was a bit different. For the last two jams of the first half, Toxic’s jammer Lex Get Waisted hung out in the penalty box. It took her a little while to get there when she was unable to find it. Instead, she just kind of stood on the outside of the track. Eventually, she headed to her bench, but of course, that wasn’t correct either. Finally, she found the penalty box. She began the second half in the J seat and remained there for the first three jams. Sure, they released her, but she had a major case of penalties. In the five consecutive jams she spent in the penalty box, Oly outscored Toxic 59-0 to put the score at 165-15.
Then, things just seemed to click for Toxic. Behind the jamming of Name of the Game winner Honey Badger (she would finish with a crazy nastyass 28 points) and help from their best skater Lococomotion, Toxic played Oly to an even 52-52 for the rest of the bout. Of course, playing even doesn’t really help when you’re down by 150, but it does count as a moral victory. Oly got the victory that counts 217-67.
Skaters on the Move:
Oly’s Molly Sunshine and Cheshire Kate were the bout’s top jammers. Molly only jammed twice, but she scored power jams of 20-0 and 24-0 on those two jams. Cheshire Kate outscored Toxic 48-0 in her four jams, all of which she got lead jammer.
Skater who will ruin your life:
You know when you get right up close to the screen with your gun when playing Duck Hunt on the Original Nintendo? Yeah, well that’s what it was like for Ker Ruption as she destroyed one Toxic skater after another. At one point, she skewered three Toxic blockers with one swoop and left them in a groaning pile.
It was over when…
Toxic took the track. Their skaters have a ways to go before they’re competitive. But, I think this bout was a good learning experience for them.
Oly Rollers’ Bella Donnas (Points – Lead Jammer – Total Jams – Jams in Penalty Box)
Cheshire Kate 48-4-4-0
Molly Sunshine 44-2-2-0
Brutiful Jane 31-3-30
Loopty Lulu 19-3-3-1
Bookend Trixie 16-1-2-1
Loki Doki 14-2-2-0
Tay GB 4-0-2-1
Junk Drawer Sally 3-0-1-0
Toxic 253 (Points – Lead Jammer – Total Jams – Jams in Penalty Box)
Honey Badger 28-1-6-2
Rockout Roxy 15-1-8-5
Lex Get Waisted 0-0-5-5
I strongly recommend you check out my mentor Elwood Bruise’s far inferior write up of this bout. And, subscribe to him for the second best roller derby coverage in the Pacific Northwest…okay, so maybe he is the best.