The Smurfs was shown at an advanced screening at the Edwards Marq*E IMAX movie theater in 3D this past Thursday, July 28th.
The screening started at 7:30pm, but I arrived a good 30 minutes early. By the time I sat down, it was 7:07pm and the theater was still mostly empty. It wasn’t due to lack of interest as there was a huge line outside that was being scanned and slowly being allowed in, but it was a very slow process. The movie didn’t actually start until around 7:45pm because of it.
KTSU, Choice 90.9, 104.1 KRBE, and Mark Kennedy from The Set were all the presenting the film. They were handing out radio station bags and T-shirts that said, “Smurf Happens,” with a picture of Grouchy with his arms crossed looking really angry. It was insane how into The Smurfs this audience was. The reactions for when the lights went off and when the title card was first shown on screen were both just huge; easily as big as some of the reactions for the last Harry Potter.
But if it was just appreciation for the source material, I wouldn’t have minded that. I actually enjoy audience reactions like that. There were about a hundred screaming children there though. By the time it was all over, I had never wanted a vasectomy so bad in my life. If there had ever been a do-it-yourself kit for something like that to prevent me from ever having bratty, out of control offspring, I would’ve picked it up right then and there. At one point in the movie, there was suddenly this child yelling in my ear, “I HAVE TO GO POTTY, MOMMY!” She just goes, “Shhh,” all calmly and quietly. The kid just kept getting more and more obnoxious. “POTTY! MOMMY! GRRRAARRRGH!” She finally decided to take him, but not before pulling back on my seat and making a huge production out of it. She apologized directly in my ear, but I didn’t reply mostly because I was biting my tongue from saying anything incredibly explicit and vulgar.
When I could see the movie was nearing its end, I made it a point to get up and make it to the exit. I wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible and I did. I left as soon as the nearest thing even remotely resembling credits graced the screen. During my hurried exit, I noticed that the Marq*E had set up a Captain America display. Two glass cases were set up featuring a few movie posters from the film along with several old Captain America comics. It wasn’t anything fancy, but it seemed really awesome compared to the travesty I just witnessed. After that, I physically ran to my car to get the hell out of there.
The Smurfs is now playing in 2D and 3D theaters across the Houston area. Showtimes at the Edwards Marq*E usually begin around 11:00am while the last showing is around 10:30pm. Parking is free, but you may have a bit of a walk on a busy night or if there’s somebody really popular at the Houston Improv next door. You can reach the Edwards Marq*E 23 IMAX Theater at (713) 263-7843. It’s located at 7620 Katy Freeway here in Houston right next to the Improv off of I-10.