High tech guru, public relations executive, and social media diva, Heather Meeker is the epitome of the modern woman. And, as a single gal, she’s also had first-hand experience in LA’s dating trenches…
Heather currently runs her own consulting business where she leads the PR efforts for a Los Angeles startup. She has also worked in marketing for companies such as Yahoo, EarthLink, and Burson Marsteller. Heather sits on the board for the LA Chapter of Girls in Tech and is a frequent public speaker.
You can find her at http://about.me/heathermeeker.
What is your relationship status?
In your opinion, where are the best places in LA to meet men?
Definitely not at bars or clubs – most guys are looking to hook up, and anyone who hangs out in the club scene in LA is pretty much a douchebag. I’d recommend networking events where you can meet people who are serious about their career and spending their free time cultivating it (and meeting other professionals). Also, if I go out with my friends to dinner at some of the nicer establishments around town, I usually meet quality guys. And finally, you can’t beat the beach. Everyone is up for meeting new people when you’re out playing in the sun!
What is the best piece of relationship advice you’ve ever received?
Over a year ago, I was upset about a relationship and the way I was being treated. My Dad (who has since passed away) said to me: “You know, when I met your Mom, I just knew she was the one. I saw her ‘gliding’ past me as she walked. She was gorgeous. When you love someone, you treat them like a priority.” Since then, I’m waiting for that guy who thinks I “glide” instead of walk. You have to be the apple of his eye. Period.
What is your overall impression of the men in LA?
Most of the men I’ve been in serious relationships with didn’t live in LA. So that should tell you something! But at the end of the day, regardless of geographic location, guys are guys. There are princes and there are frogs. I think the difference between LA and other towns is that men (and women) can stay single here for a lot longer because it’s normal and acceptable to be on your own. I’ve been told, “Heather, if you lived anywhere else, you would be married by now.” Maybe that’s true – but my life isn’t predicated around getting married. It’s about living in a place where I can fulfill my dreams, and LA has given me that opportunity.
Why do you think LA is such a hard place to find a relationship?
I believe it’s a lot of what I just said. It’s very normal and acceptable to be single in LA. And I think that breeds people who just want to be single and have fun with no commitments. I mean, listen – if you’re a guy and you’re average looking and have a good game, you can land a model here. But for many other guys (the good ones), they are out working hard and not spending time at bars and clubs. So how do you meet them? It’s usually work or networking events, friend of friends, etc. But unfortunately when I meet many of the good guys, they are usually going home to wives. At least in my age group…
What is the biggest mistake men make with women?
Telling a girl what she wants to hear to get her, and taking her for granted once you have her. LA is an easy place to find the next hot girl around the corner. But the full package is very hard to find. That said, lots of guys want the girl on the arm that makes them look good, and then screw around on the side. Here’s the deal: if you want to be with other women, then move on and PLEASE don’t lie when she confronts you about being committed. Respect and cherish a woman who has her act together and is looking for a monogamous relationship. If you want to have your “eat it too” then do us all a favor and stay single.
What is the biggest mistake women make with men?
I think a lot of women (including myself) feel like we have a sense of independence and are trying to find the right balance between work and personal life. It’s hard for us, and the guys, as we strike this balance. My entire professional life, I’ve been chasing things that show I can “make it on my own.” Sure, that’s great, but one day you’re going to wake up 30-something and single – and a lot of the good guys will already be married. Don’t underestimate the importance of having a guy in your life as you strive for your goals. And don’t be afraid to let him BE the guy – you don’t have to be all things to all people all the time.
Sex on a first date. Yay or Nay?
Gosh no. Maybe I’m just old fashioned or maybe it’s the Christian in me, but I don’t believe you can have intimacy without getting to know them first – and that doesn’t happen in one night.
What is the #1 quality your ideal mate would have?
Someone who is loyal. My father never cheated on my Mom- he saw her as the apple of his eye and was always there for her. It was awesome. I have to have that.
What is your biggest turn off?
A guy who lies. There’s nothing worse. Relationships are based on communication and trust. Lying violates both.
What is your biggest turn on?
A guy who cooks me dinner. That is so hot! I’m an OK cook, and I enjoy it, but there’s nothing more awesome than coming over to a guy’s house and see he’s cooking a meal and has a glass of wine ready for you. I love it when a guy takes care of me, because I really like to take care of my guy!