We have all heard the song “Friends how many of us have them”, right? Right, most of us have probably heard that song somewhere before, sometime or another. As we progress in life, going from stage to stage, some of us for the most part, our friends do in fact change. It is by situations and circumstances, often based on the choices we have made with our lives, which enables us to become the people we are, which correlates with the new friendships and bonds we develop in life. Not to say we have become better then our old friends but we have in a sense outgrown the old bonds and relationships and need to replenish them with progressive and uplifting memories. It is not that one friend has become better then the other but instead the simplest things as interest, passions, and desires in life may have changed due to the direction one has taken with his or her life.
Friends are expected to be there for one another, no matter the circumstances or situations we are going through. The expectation that our friends will be there for us through it all is a fact that we have formulated in our minds. However, when a friend has chosen to live their life the way they choose, all we must do is advice them on what is right and then watch everything unfold. There is an old Liberian saying, “the way a person makes up his or her bed, that’s how they will lie in it.” This statement is in fact true. If you leave your bed neat when you leave your house in the morning, it is expected that it should remain that way, when you return home, correct? How vivid this saying is and how it relates to life and the decisions we make. We make decisions, making our beds the way we want and forget that we are the one’s that have to lie in them, then instead hoping our friends will feel sorry for us, when we have made horrible beds. We ought to be happy for our friends, even if we feel they are doing better then us, because it may be obvious he or she has made some decision or decisions that have led to their success. Having a successful relationship and finding love and being in love is a happy and joyous experience, no one can understand, except you have truly been in love. Often, when we find ourselves in such a bliss and place of happiness, we want everyone around us, including our friends to be truly, sincerely, and genuinely happy for us. This is not necessarily the case, no matter how bad we want it to be.
There are several forms of jealousy and envy. There is positive and competitive envy and resentful envy as well. Competitive envy brings the best out of us, it is not that you hate the individual or their situation but instead you are motivated by a friend success and happiness, which propels one to attain the same or greater of their own. Some friends in fact do possess this type of envy, while others possess resentful envy, whether they are consciously or unconsciously aware of it or not. Take for instance two friends who have had a challenging lives, especially with men and have manage to make it anyhow and one have found a good thing in a man, while the other friend hasn’t and continues to meet up with misfortune with men. The other girlfriend, would expects her friend to be happy for her, that she has found peace and happiness, you would think right? Exactly, this what we may all think and this may be the friend intentions to be happy for her friend but unconsciously aware she may be resentfully envious of her friend happiness and success whether she knows it or not, especially when it relates to finding a good man. Now her friend has found happiness and true love, while she may be all alone feeling deserted and have lost time, attention, and similarities she and her friend once shared. That resentful envy can be harmful, even bringing rift and issues with her friend and new spouse, especially in the spiteful rhetoric that particular friend can have towards that individual spouse. Spitefulness against all men, just on the bases of what another man has done to you as woman is wrong and often presents problems for that person’s friend, possibly ruining their happiness and relationship. This can also be harmful and detrimental to you and your girlfriend relationship in that you are jeopardising her happiness due to the lack of respect you show her man. Not only that, any possibility of that man helping you or introducing you to a good man, specifically his friend, may be gone, due to your tract record of being bitter, spiteful, and running men off. Ladies be careful out here; your friends can ruin your good relationship. “The way a person makes his or her bed, is how they will lie in it.”