After a break up, sometimes it’s easy to confuse feelings of loneliness with regret. Especially if the relationship that ended was intense or long-lasting. After all, familiarity is comforting so it’s quite normal to miss what you had with that person and be tempted to return, even if the relationship was unhealthy or just not right for you. But, sometimes people break up for the wrong reasons and should be together. So how do you know if you should reach out to that special someone or sit back with a glass of wine and label yourself lucky? If any of the following sound familiar, toast yourself because something much better is in store for you:
Abuse – This one is a no-brainer. If your partner was abusive in any way (sexually, physically, emotionally, etc.) do not go back. Relationships shouldn’t hurt so if you were abused or felt threatened at any time, stay away. Ignore all excuses or apologies.
Too Different – Building a relationship off a mutual love for mint chocolate chip ice cream isn’t going to work. People in a relationship need to share some of the same goals and values. If she wants to travel Europe and your content traveling from the couch to the refrigerator, keep yourself put.
Game Playing – If your entire relationship consisted of you banging your head against a wall trying to figure your partner out, give your mind a rest and let me figure this one out for you. Do not go back. The only banging you should be doing is the feel good kind. You’d think junior high would be the cut-off for game playing, but I’ve seen people in their 40’s try to play their partner like a game of Tetris.
Alone Time – Does the phrase, “I need some space” sound familiar? If so, give your partner exactly what he/she wants. If you were dating someone who always wanted “me time”, they’re simply not that into you.
Cheating – So he slept with his ex. Let her have him. Most cheaters never change and you have better things to do than spend your time wondering if he’s Facebooking or texting her. If the trust in your relationship was about as sparse as the hair on Dr. Phil’s head, use your time to find someone trustworthy.
Heinous Activity – Some things are absolutely unforgiveable and merit a break up. I’m talking along the lines of lying to you, being horrid to your family, coming on to your best friend, or involving themselves in criminal activity.
Same issues – If you’re constantly bickering about or breaking up because of your different communication styles or spending habits, do yourself a favor and move on. Recurring problems usually signify a larger issue at hand and can be great learning experiences. If you stay in a relationship that feels like Groundhog Day, you’re hindering your own personal growth.
Or if a psychic says so. JK!