A recent query of Atlanta, Georgia families on the internet brought forth a barrage of Family Law practices and divorce lawyers. Less than half the page was devoted to places and activities families would visit and enjoy together. The challenges of family life are mighty, so pick up your shield and prepare to battle, because that’s what it’s going to take. Family maladies are an infection that can be warded off. How?
Please meet Cynthea and Leonard from the greater Atlanta area. They are in the latter part of phase 2 of their marriage and have a young child to put in the mix. Let’s see what answers they dish out to our questions:
During this phase of your marriage how do you resolve conflicts? Cynthea: “Over the years, less and less causes conflict. You learn to pick your battles and not sweat the small stuff. But when something does arise, we do lots of praying together and look to Jehovah for our answers and calm. We read articles that relate to the problem at hand. We wait for a quiet time, away from our son and business and then talk about it: Open and honest.”
Leonard: “The biggest thing is listening so that you can really understand what the real problem is.”
What affect has having a child had on your relationship? Cynthea: “Oh Boy, every aspect of our lives is now child focused. We have to make the time to spend with each other and not neglect ourselves or our relationship.”
Leonard:” It has helped me to really come to appreciate my wife for all the love and patience she has shown to me and our son. We need to make sure that we do things together not only as a family but as husband and wife. I also think that it has helped us to see each other in a way that would not have been possible otherwise. You see this little person who is a reflection of your personality and it just magnifies areas that are good or need to be improved upon.”
How do you successfully remain close while handling the pressures of everyday life? Cynthea: “We work together in everything: Worship, entertaining, sleeping, eating and vacationing together, and everything else daily life entails. We often work together, which gives us lots of time to talk. Some may think it is too much togetherness, but it works for us. There’s no room for too much (or anyone else) to come between us.”
Leonard:” We do everything together which is a real blessing that many people do not have. This affords us the opportunity to be there when any help or support is needed or when any pressures may mount against either one of us.”
How do you express love within your family? Cynthea: “We say it every day. We still touch and kiss a lot. There are no sex defined roles in our home: We both do it ALL. We take time for dates and everyday spend time together if only to watch a little TV or complete some project. We also set a spiritual goal together. Right now we are applying scriptural kindness.”
Leonard: “We study the bible together. This is one of the greatest expressions of love that can be shown. Kind thoughts and actions have a part in expressing love for each other.”
This is stage 2. After the honeymoon stage is over, hopefully not before year 6, we become a bit complacent, maybe stuck. Around year 10 we’re bored and at year 15 we’re searching for a fulfilling relationship, again. In Cynthea and Leonard’s family faith is the glue. People with and without faith have successful marriages. You have to want love to be more than a dream: You must believe and make it your reality.