Nothing gets this Examiner’s goat more than some hotel clerk barking at her: “It’s policy.”
Well, it’s policy, too that “guests” — read, high-paying customers in a bad economy — can shop around. And here’s a list of what we don’t want:
- non-smokers don’t want to breathe carcinogens wafting down the hall
- non-parents (and perhaps especially other parents) don’t want to hear your baby screaming at breakfast
- you call that air freshener?
- snoopy housekeepers
- so-called “eggs” and so-called “sausage” at “breakfast”
- $12/minute phone calls to Lafayette
- $40/minute phone calls to Biloxi
Here’s what we do want, hotel staff and executives everywhere:
- appliances that work
- fresh meals at breakfast or just take off the extra $20 fee, ok?
- coffee that wasn’t manufactured with shoe polish
- an understanding that if we have a cat, that does not mean we should be on the smoking floor; put us with the regular people; we’ll pay the extra $15. Trust me, no one will sue you for an allergy because they smell a cat four doors down;
- a smile, ok, is that too much to ask?
- laugh at our stupid jokes – it’s good business
- do not let the housekeeper surprise us with knock on our doors; just find out in advance if we want room service
- don’t assume we are taking the towels, linens, etc if one is missing – our credentials at least match if not better those of the staff you’ve hired
- don’t put a $500 hold on our cards and then bill us for half that and tell us, “Don’t worry – it will credit back to your card.” Yes, but it takes three days and especially if we are travelling to other hotels we will incur bank transaction fees for the deficit!
And in New Orleans, especially, we need to know there aren’t bugs, that it’s nice and cool and that we aren’t hearing the beautiful but sleep-depriving sounds of jazz wafting through our windows at two in the morning. Good idea to put us on the other side of the building if we’re noise-sensitive or on a quiet floor or on a non-smoking floor if the only butts we own are our own.