Communicating with your spouse is the key to stable, secure and loving marriages. It doesn’t matter how much you love each other. If you don’t learn how to talk to one another, you will face issues in your marriage. By learning to communicate, even the biggest of problems can be overcome.
There are three main ways to communicate; verbal (written and spoken), facial expressions and body language. Believe it or not, all three can be harmful. Think of a conversation you’ve had with a teenager. Remember the eye rolling? As disrespectful as it is for a child to roll their eyes at an adult, it’s worse when your spouse does it.
Body language can signal many things to your spouse. If your stance is rigid, regardless of what you say, your spouse will know how upset you are. On the other hand, if you’re picking on your spouse and your body is relaxed, they will know its playful teasing and not meant to be hurtful.
Verbal communication causes the most misunderstandings and can be the most paintful. Here are a few tips to improving your communication with your spouse.
- Don’t try to discuss a problem in the heat of the moment. Wait until tempers have calmed down. That way, you’re both in the frame of mind to talk about the issue.
- Don’t keep everything bottled up. Doing that leads to major blow ups. It’s much easier to work out one problem rather than thirty things that have built up over time.
- Learn to agree to disagree. In some cases, there is no solution, especially when it involves opinions. At times like that, accept you have differing points of view and let it go.
- Discover the art of compromise. When you’ve reached an impasse and neither one of you wants to budge, agree to find common ground you can both live with.
- Don’t assume the negative. Your spouse loves you. They aren’t going to hurt your feelings on purpose. If you automatically think a comment or action happened intentionally, you’ll become defensive. It’s hard to communicate under those circumstances. If you calmly ask what your spouse meant, they will have the ability to explain themselves. You’ll save yourself a lot of heartache and stress.
- Remember to tell your spouse the things you love about them. When you’re dating and newly married, this part is easy. However, once daily life and obligations interfere this is the one area that gets forgotten. By taking a moment each day to express your love to your spouse, you’ll remind you both of the love that brought you together in the first place.
The day you get married, you commit yourself to your spouse “till death do you part”. The goal is to spend those years in a happy loving marriage. Learning to communicate effectively with your spouse will set you up to be able to accomplish that. Having a strong stable relationship with your spouse will be rewarding and fulfilling. It will make travelling life’s journey less bumpy.
If your marriage is struggling and you feel marriage counseling will benefit you and your spouse, try the Austin Family Institute. “Austin Family Institute, a marriage and family training program, provides all counseling on a sliding scale fee, making it affordable for everyone.” Visit their website or contact them at 512-329-6611.
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