You meet a man, he seems like a nice guy. Good looking, friendly, sharp dresser and has a great job. These are three pretty good attributes. You start dating and it eventually gets serious. After several months you find out that he never did have that great job at the bank. He is unemployed. Never held a job longer than a couple months, and had been fired from most. There is something else you didn’t know. He was married twice and has 3 children. He does not support them and does not see them. You break up with him but because of all you put into the relationship it is very emotionally hurtful. Just think of how much heartbreak you would have saved yourself if you knew about his history before hand. I am sure this scenario sounds familiar to several of you ladies. There are steps you can take to protect yourself from future emotional or physical harm.
Do not have the thought ‘what will he think if he finds out I was checking him out’. There are discreet ways to do a background check. If he does find out and confronts you, simply reply that if you were not seriously interested in him, you wouldn’t waste your time. Tell him you are very careful because you were hurt in the past.
You could hire a private investigator to provide you with information. The cost of this varies. Depending on the amount of information you are seeking, the amount of information you can supply the investigator and location. It could be as low as $100 and as high as several thousand. If you decide to hire an investigator, make sure he/she is licensed by the state. If you call your local police department detective bureau they can probably refer you to a credible one.
If you do a background investigation on your own, it probably won’t be as thorough or as discreet, but it can be done. If you meet a man in a bar, and you think you might be interested, ask the employees what they know about him. Then ask them to tell you who he associates with in their establishment. Talk to all these people. Most men, if they are told that a woman is asking lots of questions about them, will be flattered.
If he says he works for a company or public sector job, call their human resources department. Use a fake name and ask if he works there. They will not provide you with very much information, but they will advise if he works there and maybe what department. They get calls like this all the time. This is perfectly legal as long as you do not say you are a law enforcement officer or person of some authority over them.
These are just but a few steps you can take to get a better idea of what a potential relationship partner is all about. Knowledge is wisdom.