As adults we have choices and freedom now to decide how much of a relationship that we want to have with our continuously abusive, disrespectful parents. We can negotiate for change. Go low contact, only seeing them at family get togethers and holidays, or go no contact, cutting them off completely if the encounters continue to be so toxic that it is destroying our souls. A problem arises when we jump out of the frying pan and into the fire when we have to work for someone in the workplace who is just as bad. We need a paycheck, and it may not be so easy to just walk away. We try to make the best of it, but it can be hard to endure. This is especially true in the interim when we have decided that we must get out. It is the window of time when we are sending out resumes and praying for a “you’re hired” rescue. We are practically jumping out of our skin with impatience wanting so badly for a decision maker at the new company to take us away from the inferno that we must endure day after day. Working for a bad boss can destroy your health; both physically and mentally. We can experience high blood pressure, nausea, dread before starting the work week, and feel fatigued after a full night’s rest. Our minds become consumed with the job. We can’t relax. Pleasurable hobbies no longer do anything for us. You may think that doing an exceptional job, work that is faultless, will keep the boss off your back, but that is not necessarily so. Ironically, targets of abusive bosses tend to be high achievers, perfectionists and workaholics. Often bully bosses try to mask their own insecurities by striking out. I had one boss fire me after I had been the top sales person in the company for three straight years. She made a percentage of everything I brought into the organization. Even with that her insecurities won out over the money that was going directly into her bank account while I did the work. She could not stomach someone who was more competent than she was. It triggered her low self esteem. Getting rid of me so “I wouldn’t make her look so bad” was more important than the dollars that were going to her. It took years for me to figure this out because it didn’t make sense that I was fired for excellence; performance that directly benefitted her.
If you can remember that your bad boss is acting out on you for reasons that have nothing to do with you it might make it easier to get up in the morning and face another work day. If you wait them out they may leave. However keep your resume up to date and ready to go. That day may come where it is time to start looking for the escape hatch. If the stress of working for an abusive boss is becoming too much professional guidance to provide coping skills could be helpful. Here is a Web site of therapists in the Dayton area who focus on stress: http://www.helppro.com/HP/therapist-finder/therapy-specialty/OH/Dayton/39/Stress.aspx