Two toxic personalities to date in Los Angeles, or anywhere for that matter, are the Tooly McToolersons and the Clingy Clingstresses. Toolys and Clingys are extremely prevalent in LA and are excellent at camouflaging their toxicity, especially in the primordial phases of dating. Everyone actively dating in LA should watch out for these types of humans. Unless, of course, you are into dudes disappearing on you when you admit your feelings to them, or chicks who call you, email you, text you, Facebook you, and still are unsatiated with “infrequent” communication.
The Tooly McToolerson can also go by the colloquial term, “douche bag,” but honestly I find this offensive to literal douche bags. An inanimate object has a clear reason not to call you back, but a human not calling you back is his choice. You can sometimes spot these creatures in seedy bars and clubs between the hours of 10pm and 2am, when they are on the hunt for self-esteem. And by self-esteem I mean the attention of females, which boosts their overly inflated egos. They are smooth talkers, persuasive manipulators, and are skilled at weaseling phone numbers and sexual gratification from unsuspecting humans. Usually they are wearing upside down visors, the infamous Jason Mraz hat, jeans that cost more than your undergraduate education, and pink polo shirts with popped collars. A Tooly McToolerson cannot be tamed. His need to conquer women and plant his proverbial flags is his sole purpose. This phase may last well into his 50’s. Remember, when dating in Los Angeles, 30 is the new 18.
Clingy Clingstresses are a female epidemic in Los Angeles and where the Tooly is evasive, the Clingstress is obsessive. When a female Clingstress encounters a human who she finds interesting and potentially dateable, she will completely fawn and follow said human sycophantically, giving up every last bit of her own sense of self for a chance to be coupled. The problem here is that Clingstresses are annoying. They must be dealt with directly, in clear language, if the victim of the Clingstress does not wish to be clung to. These creatures become clingers usually due to low self-esteem and low sense of self. These are the girls who go to college to get their MRS degree, and who never talk to their friends once they become part of a couple. Not cool, Clingstresses, not cool.
Toolys and Clingstresses are, of course, two extreme personality types roaming the dating arena. Be wary of dating one, and be sure not to become one. Nobody likes an obsequious moron, and being a tool is not hot no matter how cool Jersey Shore makes it look.